Scott's Blog
Resentment is a Silent Killer
June 28, 2010
by Scott Levitt ·
Scott’s Thoughts: Managing Resentment
Work to manage this silent killer.
“Resentment is one burden that is incompatible with your success. Always be the first to forgive; and forgive yourself first always.”
–Dan Zadra
Resentment is a deal killer. Whether between managing brokers and agents, agents and other agents, or between spouses, resentment is one of the most corrosive elements in a relationship. Sometimes called the “silent killer,” resentment is largely the result of unaired grievances or poor communication. What may be in actuality a very small (and often misperceived offense) can be the seed from which a series of bad decisions arise– passive aggressive behavior, professional sabotage, and higher stress levels across the board.
Resentment can also become toxic between buyers and sellers. You’ve probably been in negotiations where one side begins to really dislike the other. This attitude is ultimately counterproductive to closing the sale. Rather than focusing on the terms and compromises at hand, the two parties become entrenched in personal warfare. Successful negotiation means keeping resentment out of the picture.
One thing you can do to mitigate resentment is to make sure you never make a comment, however small, that disparages the buyer to the seller or vice-versa. Even if you think the comment may be sympathetic to and supportive of the listener’s frustration, what you’re actually doing is encouraging resentment. What’s worse, if the resentment ever boils over to full-scale confrontation, you might find yourself in the uncomfortable position of defending or explaining comments you may have made carelessly during the course of the deal.
Keep an eye out for growing resentment on either side of the fence. Anything you can do to diffuse or manage resentment before it manifests itself will go a long way to securing your future success.
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